I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
