I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
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