Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
