: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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