no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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