Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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