She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
