Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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