Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
