The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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