Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
