She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
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Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
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I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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