Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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