He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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