Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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