i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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