Don't you send me to vm
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
she smelled like a LAN party
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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