She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
