Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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