Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize