i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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