Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
