if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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