My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
