You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
