This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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