He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize