felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I think people are normalizing furries
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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