WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
