I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
