just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
