I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
