Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
