I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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