Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
