just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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