Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
