Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
whose ass print is on the piano?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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