He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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