yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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