I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
