OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i will never coherently bang her
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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