Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
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