Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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