If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
