I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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