He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
