"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
