i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
