Those balls look pretty dangerous.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
