nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You ruined the universe
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize