I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize