Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
