Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just had sex on a roof
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
