when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
