...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
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once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
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No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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