i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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