i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
