i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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