ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize