Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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