is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Why is there bacon in the couch?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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