we're blogging at a bar
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.