Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo

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  (586): Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo http://tfl.nu/x92b
  Replies (2) Good night (1526) Bad night (722)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay

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  (336): 16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay http://tfl.nu/u1h0
  Replies (24) Good night (5774) Bad night (836)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.

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  (610): No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends. http://tfl.nu/ox60
  Replies (72) Good night (10203) Bad night (828)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I wish life had little blips of pornography

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  (778): I wish life had little blips of pornography http://tfl.nu/kuwx
  Replies (27) Good night (4117) Bad night (1296)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we

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  (617): We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we http://tfl.nu/nsr3
  Replies (14) Good night (3491) Bad night (718)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  Yes but- 100% agreed

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  (617): I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick? (1-617): Yes but- 100% agreed http://tfl.nu/cz25
  Replies (29) Good night (3721) Bad night (887)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.

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  (920): Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out. http://tfl.nu/bwpe
  Replies (7) Good night (1547) Bad night (4665)
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  (925): View more from California

  First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.

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  (925): First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me. http://tfl.nu/pldx
  Replies (14) Good night (2672) Bad night (890)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.

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  (610): The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous. http://tfl.nu/sorz
  Replies (3) Good night (3514) Bad night (1250)
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  (348): View more from

  Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...

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  (348): Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment... http://tfl.nu/ldjn
  Replies (5) Good night (2871) Bad night (1015)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.

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  (208): the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player. http://tfl.nu/khif
  Replies (7) Good night (814) Bad night (1948)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?

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  (313): I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/g93i
  Replies (7) Good night (1656) Bad night (605)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.

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  (765): His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison. http://tfl.nu/cqq3
  Replies (4) Good night (811) Bad night (633)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Why Weren't you wearing pants?

  (647): View more from Ontario

  because pants are for people with no imagination

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  (416): Why Weren't you wearing pants? (647): because pants are for people with no imagination http://tfl.nu/baiz
  Replies (6) Good night (2458) Bad night (623)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.

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  (231): That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/ogi2
  Replies (8) Good night (721) Bad night (358)

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