I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
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He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
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Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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