that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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