Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
