it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Randomize
