my shit smells like andre
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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