He disabled his match.com account in front of me
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
