I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
