I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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