Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
