absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
